Saturday, August 23, 2008

I need a drop dead sleep

I am so tired. I was tired before yesterday. Yesterday I was barely home. When I did get home it was 10:00PM and I still had to get ready for bed. I didn't fall asleep until 2:00AM and it wasn't deep. I woke up at 4:40AM on time to hear something crash. It sounded like a clay vase with a water balloon in it had fallen. I got up to search for it but couldn't find anything. I didn't fall back asleep until 5:30AM and it still wasn't deep. At sometime around 8:30 or 9:00AM I woke up to my dad's noise. Yesterday my mom told me that the cousins were coming over to pick blackberries and asked me if I wanted to go. I said 'No' because it was earlier than I wanted to be awake. Later my dad asked me and I said the same thing. I just knew that they were going to wake me up anyway. My dad was getting card stock out of the half of my closet that isn't mine and woke me up. I tried not to listen to him but when my door shut my eyes opened. You know it's not going to be a good day when one of the first thoughts you have is: 'Oh, joy! He left the closet door open.' I tried listening to music while I waited for them to leave. After they were gone my body refused to go back to sleep. I felt it in my bones. So I watched a movie. It was a noneducational movie. I'm even shocked. Now my dad wants us to go to my grandparent's for blackberry cobbler tonight. I love my grandparents but I have things I want to do tonight. Like go to bed. Like right after dinner. My daydreams cry when I don't come. They cry because I am sad without them. I die. No, I live harder. Imagination comes harder the more I live. I don't want them to drown in my pool of consciousness. What would I live for if that happened?


sheryl said...

Company never comes when you want it. It was nice of your dad to take the day off and hang out with me because I was so bored of my regular life. Hope you catch up in your sleep soon. Love, Aunt Sheryl

Ken said...

Sorry about waking you! I didn't shut the door because I didn't want to make more noise!

I'm glad you can say "no"! That is a trick a lot of people (including me) have trouble with.

sheryl said...

Dear Rachel,

We respect your need for sleep and your own activities, but try to live some outside of yourself, that is for others. I believe you must include other people in your life to get a fulness of joy. Find ways to serve and help others and that will be energizing.

I love you,

Grandma O.

Imagitext said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Neil said...

Hey girl, I missed you the other day. Sleep is weird, but it is easier to sleep if when you have an active day. So, be active and spend time with me!! :D

Love you,

brenda said...

I'm catching up on your mysterious blog. I read it before, not knowing your identity, and now need to read again to fit the pieces together. Keep writing! It's excellent, and an audience will help spur you on.

Berkeley said...

I love your play list!!!